Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
