Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
