Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
