So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
