they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
