i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
