Don't you send me to vm
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
