He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
