dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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