Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
