I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
