The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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