Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
