if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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