apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
