Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
