Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
