Me too!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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