The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I cockslap morals
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Success! We fucked roommates!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
