i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
