He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
you made out with another girl for some wings
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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