What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
