Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
