Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
