I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
