Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
