just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
