my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
