I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you will always have a special place in my vag
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
