Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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