Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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