How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
And then he peed in my hair
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