My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
