Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
