U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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