I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
