Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
