Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
