What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
