At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
