I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
