we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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