I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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