ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
