I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
