Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
this will be a night to untag.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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