We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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