i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
A bitchslap is in order.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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