i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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