Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
