Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
